Tomorrow

Tomorrow I will see a baby being born.
Last weekend I viewed through a telescope a star cluster that is not visible to the naked eye.
Last December I watched magnificent whales splashing in the waters off Maui.
Just a month prior to that I witnessed a launch of the space shuttle.

Certain things I've seen expand my mind in a new way. At these times I see God bigger than I previously had.

I expect tomorrow will be life-changing, hearing the first cries, seeing the first struggles, watching the first breath of my newborn grandson.

I just cannot wait for tomorrow!

A Good Work

Each week my friend Mary comes faithfully to my house to help me organize my life. Sometimes we just freshen up the environment, put things back where they belong and just make my home a more nurturing place for me and my loved ones. Other times we attack projects -- wall painting, picture hanging, window coverings. One very gratifying aspect about my time with Mary is that she loves to see a work finished to completion. About three-fourths of the way through laying floor tiles in my bathroom, when we discovered half the tiles we had purchased did not match the other half, I was sure the task would have to be put off until the next week. But no. We drove over to Lowe's, exchanged the tiles and plodded through the rest of the job. Surely enough, when she left, the floor was completed.

As I spent time with God today just pouring my filled-with-concerns heart out to Him, He gently brought to mind this part of His word: "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." I spent time savoring and absorbing each aspect of this much-needed and precious promise. Fully capable, putting the earth into orbit, holding all things together God Himself began a project right here in me, in my life! He will not fail to finish all that He began in me. I am the work of His hands, and He does not walk away from what He starts.

Oh, God, Thank You for this reminder that it is always You at work in me. I'm not my own project, thankfully, but Yours! You are everything I'm not -- consistent, faithful, loving, completely true and right and, of course, all-knowing. You do not give up on me and see me as a hopeless cause. Have your perfect, complete way with me, my Father.

What I Learned on My Face

It's not about who I am or what I can or cannot do.
But it is about Who GOD is and What HE can do.
It's not about my insufficiency.
But it is ALL about HIS sufficiency.

His grace is indeed enough!
When I am weak
I become strong
In Him.

There You Are

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated 24 years of marriage. I have become convinced that, while we are indeed blessings to each other, these blessings can be awfully difficult. Our relationship has been at times painstakingly hard yet filled with much that is bountifully good. I liken our home to a laboratory whereby God is making us both molded more and more into the likeness of Christ. What happens in laboratories isn't always pretty, but wonderful things are created there.

This is a poem I wrote years ago when a friend's husband left her. It speaks of being at the end of ourselves with our love for each other. I believe it is at that point we truly learn to love with the love God has given to us.

There you are
The man I gave my heart to
Years ago
We said I do
And knew
That nothing would pull us apart.

There you are
The man I wounded
With sword-sharp words
And careless insults
Pointing out who you were NOT
Instead of magnifying the good in you.

There you are
The man who closed his heart
To me
It didn't happen in a day
Or even overnight
Out of my hurt
I hurt you back
Not even really knowing
You, my strong husband
Were hurt-able.

There you are
Physically here
Yet continents apart
From the woman
To whom you gave your heart
And who offered hers
to you

There you are
But with the slam of a door
Suddenly you aren't
If someone had shredded me
Into a million pieces
I could not experience
Any more pain
Than that which I now know
The anguish
Of your absence
The dissolving
Of a dream
Promises broken
So much I wish I could undo
But time goes forward
Not backward
And together
We destroyed each other
The very people
We vowed to cherish
Above all else

Here I am
With an unexplainable hope
God, who heals hearts
And rebuilds lives
Has sustained me
Through this time
When I think, I'll surely die
He tells me that
No matter what's ahead
For me
Or us
That he will be there
So close
Loving me
Directing me
Comforting me
Seeing me as precious

Here I am
Asking forgiveness
Understanding your reluctance
To trust
To try again
We have failed so much!
I know now
That I expected you
To be God to me
You were to heal my hurts
To know my every need
To make me whole
And inevitably
You could not do that for me
Nor I for you

Here I am
Seeing life
And marriage
As a process
Two people learning
Failing
Forgiving
Growing
Who agree to LEARN to love

It won't be perfect
There are scars
And there will be future struggles
But God will be with us
Loving us
Forgiving us
Teaching us
Pouring His grace on us
He is the only One
Who can put the pieces back together
And grow that once-promised
Forever love
Back into our shattered lives

Here we are
All we have to offer
Is our brokenness
Our sorrow
Our weakness
And regret

There He is
With open arms
His potter's hands
Wanting to lovingly mold us
Into who and how He wants us to be
Both to each other
And to our children
This is His specialty!
He is not shaking a finger
At us
Or looking down
In disdain
He is not surprised
By our inadequacies
But is lovingly willing
To enter into
The darkest corners
Of our self-destructive ways
And there meet us
And mold us
All we must do
Is admit our weakness
And He promises
To be our strength

There He is
Knowing our brokenness
Because He too was broken
In order that we may be whole
Knowing our sinfulness
Because He became sin for us
So that our sins
Would not be counted against us
Knowing our loneliness
Because He died alone
So that we may have fellowship
With Him
And with each other

There you are
Here I am
Above all
There He Is

Diane Mann 2002