Dry

Sometimes my hope
Is covered in cobwebs
All but forgotten
Sometimes the river
Of life that ran through me
Is a path
Of rocks
So dry
So dusty and dry
Sometimes each song
I sing
Or hear
Or think about
Falls flat
On my ears
On my heart
On my vacant heart
Sometimes

diane mann 2012

Morning Journal After Disorienting Dream

I'm following Love
It's calling me on
And Love
Is following me

Look on in wonder
Scratch your head
As I pass by
I won't apologize
Anymore
Not ever again

For choosing to be
And become
Who I'm created
To be --
Simply me
Following Love, Who
Always follows me!

diane mann 2012

The Cross Next to the Door

I sat in the front room of my house spending some quiet-and-still-with-God time.  Usually I settle on the floor of my office in the back corner of my home, but this particular morning, I was drawn to sit near the window that looks out to our neighborhood.

As I opened my eyes, I saw something unnoticed by me previously, a large, lovely, wrought-iron cross hanging on the neighbors' home across the street just next to their garage door.  From my narrow view through a pane in the window, the cross and the wall to which it was attached were all that could be seen of their home.  Asking my husband whether the decoration was new, he replied, "No.  That cross has always been there."

For a while I gazed at it, enjoying the focus of the symbol of Jesus' sacrifice for all, for me, for my neighbors.  I've never noticed it before, I kept thinking, surprised by my having overlooked it.

What had captured my attention these years as I occasionally looked across the street?The flatbed trailer parked next to the curb to haul four-wheelers to the desert each weekend, seeing the excitement of the occupants of that home as their son returned from Afghanistan, a new RV, hedges planted in front of the RV to help meet city storage codes, father and son working on cars together, some things that impressed me about their family, others that upset me about my street looking more cluttered.

Sitting with all my thoughts, the one that settled and resounded within me was this:  If Jesus is not in every person, He is right next to the door of the heart of each person, longing to dwell within them.  God is at work in and just outside of, if you will, everyone's life!  When I interact with people, easily I am distracted by what impresses me or that of which I don't approve, when Christ is there, drawing that person to Himself.  If Jesus is not in a human's heart, is He not at the doorstep seeking entrance?  That's what I long to focus on, the activity, the voice, the presence of God in a person's life, whether that individual has acknowledged Him yet or not.

I join with Paul in His first letter to the Corinthians, wherein he recites his resolve, "For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified."
(2 Cor. 2:2, ESV)

Lord, please give me eyes to see You, ears to hear You, a heart that responds to You as I journey with others, letting the distraction of my opinions fall away.  How cluttered my own life becomes, where my vision of You is obstructed and the din of my self-made busy-ness overpowers the sound of Your heartbeat.  Thank You for the cross of Christ!  I love how, like my neighbors' house decoration, "It's always been there," for me and for everyone.


diane mann 2012

The One Who Answers My Prayers

An answer to prayer –

Not what I dreamed of

Not what I hoped for

But wrapped in love

Your answer came

With a clear reminder

That You, the Potter

Do what You wish with the clay

I was certain you were molding me one way

Only to find I was wrong

That of which I was so certain

Vaporized in a moment

But you did not leave me empty

Gently and with so much comfort

You assured me

That Your ways are far above mine

And convincingly You reminded me

That You are able

To do abundantly more

Than all I could ask

Or even imagine

So yes, with sadness

And some wondering

I will thank You

For this answer to my prayer

And with anticipation

I choose to look ahead

To discover what You are creating

Of me, the clay

Make me soft and pliable

Easily yielding to Your hand

So fervently working

So lovingly molding

Give me peace

Knowing I can trust

The artistry of such a Sculptor

As You

I will not pretend to understand

When I really don't

But will trust what I know to be true of You

Oh, who am I to question

My maker, my molder

The One who answers my prayers?

Diane Carver Mann 1996

Night Vision

The view from the end of our favorite trail was glorious, the sun beginning to set as my husband and I stood atop granite boulders in the orange glow, receiving the beauty that surrounded us, relishing everything about those moments. Thankfully I'd remembered to pack my headlight, I commented, as we realized our 3.2-mile hike back to the parking lot would take us a couple of hours. "And we have a quarter moon to help, too," Brent replied.

Soon my light was necessary for me to detect the path and all it consisted of -- the rocks, roots, branches and ice patches that could easily trip me. I loved the adventure and mystery of only being able to see a few feet in front me and was so grateful for the light strapped to my head to illuminate my steps.

Brent, however, was trailing far behind me. I eagerly went back to him, glad to share my light with him so he, too, could see the trail. "No, thanks," he said. "I need to be far from your light because, when I'm near you, it ruins the way my eyes have adjusted to the dark, and it throws me off."

I wonder how often I've been insensitive to the need of others when they're in dark times in their lives. My need to rescue kicks in, and I run up to them with whatever light God has given me to "help" them find their way, when really it is a holy time for them to sense God in the darkness, to know Him in ways they'd never before known Him, trusting Him for each step, letting Him become the One to whom darkness is as the light of day. I see now it is helpful to honor as sacred another's journey as God introduces Himself in new ways to them with each step in their lives. And the exact way in which He is helping me is likely to not be the exact way He provides for another.

I was so grateful for my headlamp as I hiked in the dark. It was a gift to me. And my husband treasured the chance to hike under a starlit sky and a quarter moon, embracing the challenge of discerning his way with only what was provided in the night sky. That was a gift to him.

Isaiah 45:3 says this: "I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, That you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel."

I'll continue to seek God in my dark places, receiving whatever light He gives, whatever He has to show me of Himself, and will keep learning to entrust my loved ones to Him who constantly is revealing Himself to us. Let me never be a hindrance to another's knowing and learning to know God, even in times of darkness.

Where I'm Meant to Be

I bow to the Prince of Peace

Tame the wild storm that is me

Raise your hand over the surface

Of the ocean that's my heart 

Peace be still, you say

Peace

Be

Still

Postured now as He made me

To be

Yielding to the calm

Of my Prince 

Who is my Peace.




diane mann 2011

Discovery

Ah, I merely touched the hem of His garment
And am changed
What must the rest of His robe be like
And He, Himself?
My life and eternity
Shall be spent
Exploring
Jesus, whose hem touched me.


diane mann 2011

Sometimes I Forget

Sometimes I forget I'm forgiven, thus forgetting you, too, are forgiven. Please forgive me.
diane mann 2011

Every Time I Think of You (a song for my grandbabies)

Every time I think of you, I smile
Every time I think of you, I grin
Every time you knock
On the door of my house
I'm happy
To let you in!


diane mann 2011

Trash versus Treasure

I recently helped with cleaning out the condominium of a woman I know who is being moved to an assisted-living apartment.  She is presently in a convalescent home, so she wasn't there to help decide what to keep and what to box up for her new 500-square-feet living space or what to donate, save for family or throw away.  Her daughter was having to make those decisions, and I found myself often having to ask her what goes where.

Dorothy, the friend who is moving, is most likely the tidiest person I know.  There were very few items I came across that I knew were to be trashed.  However after the men disassembled her bed, I noticed several candy wrappers on the floor where the bed once was.  I didn't need to ask where to put those; they were obviously trash.

My husband and I reflectively drove home from our time helping at the 2,000-square-foot condominium, pondering what really matters in life, what we value, what role our "stuff" plays.  And for these few days as I have continued to process it all, the picture of the candy wrappers keeps coming to mind.

I have in the past cared too much about what others think of me, and I realize God has worked in me, tearing down my idols, helping lower the status of others' opinions to the under-the-bed-candy-wrapper level, when how I was seen by others used to be on my mantle, a place for things that are lovely, treasured and meaningful.  What a journey I've been on as God has dismantled more and more of what does not matter in my life and replaced it with what does.   Responding to God and His love for me.  Living my life to know and be known by Him, to love and be loved by Him.  Extending His grace and love to others.  The rest is as valuable as a candy wrapper.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10, ESV

Show Us You (A prayer for my daughter and her husband on their wedding day)

To You, O Lord, we lift our souls

In You we place our trust

Let not the hardships of this life

Remove Your joy from us

May hope not depart

May truth be near

Putting forth its light

As we look to You

Led and loved by You

Guide us on paths that are right.

And when we stumble and fall

Or don't give a care

For all You are and You do

When we close our eyes tight

To hide from Your light

Let us know that Your grace

Is there too

For there's nowhere You're not

Show us You.

diane mann 2011

This Very Hour (a chorus)

I need your power
I need your strength
In this very hour
In this very place
Meet me here
As I wait
In this very hour
In this very place

diane mann 2011