Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Layers


There it is again
That area I thought was healed
The ordeal I thought was done
The fight I thought was won
"Another layer," they say
Another layer of healing
Brought to the surface
Not so much the revisiting of an old wound
As a brand-new visit
Of a brand-new aspect
Of the same old wound
It feels like, here we are again
But here I am anew
Looking at another layer of me
Looking at another layer of You
I want to scream in frustration
At myself
For not getting over my issues
But Your Presence finally quiets me
Until at last we sit with what is
Sifting through it all
Together
My ineptitude, Your affirmation
My ingratitude, Your persistent generosity
My stubbornness, Your patience
My unforgiveness, Your mercy 
My recurring illness, Your hand of healing
My fierce anger, Your infinite kindness
My ceaseless "why's," Your ceaseless Presence
My exhaustion, Your breath reviving
Urging me to surrender 
To rest on your Big Love Ocean
To know You
To know me
To know You in me
And me in You
Again
And yet again
Within these layers
Of me
Discovering layers
Of You.

diane mann, 2013

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